Wednesday, June 2, 2010

If they play it…. You will come

There is something so fantastically fantastic about little league baseball. It is in my opinion, the heartbeat of childhood. I lived it once myself, a lefty by fate, a baseball player… well not too much. Oh, I wanted to be, believe you me. I had the swing but not the power. I had the eagerness yet not the talent. My best friend and rival across the street was better than I. She could throw a ball faster than any girl I’d seen. Hard fast, relentless. The green eyed monster for the first time in my life emerged, and it wasn’t over shoes and boys….it was over baseball.

A few weeks ago my son Samuel ( my baby ) played what I knew to be his last game. Last last game, as in “ Mom, I don’t want to play baseball anymore, I want to play soccer!!”.

I stood and watched this game nearing the end, Samuel up to bat. ‘How can I say goodbye to this’, I thought to myself?? The pain of letting that final memory go was so horrible, I wondered if it was obviously visible to others.

By the end of the game I wanted to burst out into tears, but instead I contained myself, walked over with the others, and made the tunnel. Children were running through joyfully, smiles on their faces, then my son ran past me smiling at me… I just stood there and took it all in…. it was almost too much.

It is my most precious baseball memory yet.

So Au Revoir old friend, until me meet again if I should ever be so blessed as to have grandchildren who play baseball.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Are you holding your own self up?

Boy how many times have I thought to myself, “if I would just get out of my own way I’d accomplish so much more“?? We can all be hesitant, afraid, or worried about something we want to accomplish or succeed at doing, but when you let those things be the domineering force that lead you astray from the very things that you should be doing, are talented at, and that bring you great pride and personal fulfillment…. I think you and I maybe selling ourselves short to a life less than what it could be.

I want to run that marathon, pass all my ARE exams, by that house in Southern California one day, put my kids through college… and all the other things on my bucket list……Is it possible to accomplish all these things? Yes, of course it is. Will I accomplish all these things? Happiness can be hard work…… I willing to do what I need to in able to become my version of happiness? That is the question that I need to ask myself. How about you? I will make an daily effort for my answer to be yes!